Image courtesy of: http://www.chait.com/
I should have been able to resist, but I just couldn't let my readers miss this one. This is not a joke, by the way. From the auction site of the I.M. Chait auction house:
Description:HUGE FOSSIL PENIS WITH PRESERVED SKIN
Tamyr Peninsula, Russia
This amazing discovery occurred while Russian fossil hunters were combing the defrosting permafrost for Woolly Mammoth fossils. Mistaking this extremely rare find for a badly weathered mammoth tusk, they threw it onto their truck and hoped that it would look better once polished. Luckily, a knowledgeable fossil dealer saw this specimen prior to any cosmetic improvements and realized what it really was; an actual mummified penis from an extinct species of Walrus. Buried in the frozen tundra for tens of thousands of years, the actual skin and muscle tissue which cover the baculum has dried, allowing for this extraordinary preservation.
Among mammals, whales have the largest penis but the walrus has the largest and most robust internal bony penis. So massive is this bony element that Eskimos use it as a killing club during their hunts. The shape of a penis bone or baculum is an important diagnostic feature used to identify species within five orders of mammals: Primates, Rodentia, Insectivora, Carnivora and Kangaroos (marsupials).
This truly one of a kind fossil "member" is among the most bizarre find of ancient erotica to date. Measuring an impressive 4 1/2 feet in length, it comes with a metal display stand.
Go ahead and bid. You know you want to. Estimated sale price for this piece of natural history is $16,000 to $20,000. Size matters, so they say....