Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Case Of The Vanishing Vibrating Underwear (And iPad...)

Radiologists are no more immune to weird behavior than anyone else. However, it is probably not terribly wise to call attention to yourself when indulging in such. I won't source this, and the names have been redacted, but you can easily Google a snippet of the text if you just have to know more...
A hotel guest told police he was missing two iPads and his vibrating panties after an encounter with a woman in his room.

Dr. X told police he had purchased the items on Tuesday.

Later that day, Dr. X met a woman and invited her to his room.

Dr. X believes the items were still in his room after he took the woman back to her room at another hotel at around 9 p.m.

Wednesday morning, Dr. X left his room at 7:30 a.m. When he came back that night at around 6:30 p.m., he realized the iPads and panties were missing from an open piece of luggage in his room.

The front desk told Dr. X the only access to his room during the time he was gone was by housekeeping at 12:30 p.m.

Dr. X told police he believes that either the woman he met or hotel housekeeping is responsible for the theft.

He told police the woman he brought to his room still had a key.

An officer asked the front desk for the door log for room 405, but the employee who has access to the logs had left and would not return until June 7 at 9 a.m.

Police are still investigating the theft.

Dr. X, who shall remain nameless, turns out to be an interventional radiologist working for one of the BIG radiology corporations, being put up in said hotel. Not that it's pertinent, but Dr. X trained in a nation in the Middle East that is not Israel. I am unfamiliar with the customs in that particular wooded nation relating to reporting of missing items of a personal nature.

You filthy-minded perverts out there, otherwise known as readers of DoctorDalai.com, are almost certainly jumping to the wrong conclusion. Clearly, Dr. X was in the process of an incredible breakthrough in interventional radiology, using the oscillating lingerie as a tactile feedback device during cases. I haven't quite worked out all the details for this yet, but I'm guessing he had modified the electronics in the panties with a WiFi access point for open communication with deep signal penetration, perhaps with an adcock ad hoc architecture.  The two iPads were then made to interface with the lacy drawers (although perhaps he preferred burlap). If I were doing this, I would use some sort of very sensitive probe at the tip of my catheter which could transmit sensations back to the first iPad, which might then map its trajectory. If the catheter bumps and grinds up against the smooth lining of the vessel wall, a sensory cascade might then be triggered causing the vibrating unmentionables to, well, vibrate, thus warning the operator of an impending state of no return. I'm would assume the woman in the article was a technologist or engineer helping Dr. X to perform a wet-run of the prototype device, perhaps helping him guide his catheter.

Or maybe they were both just watching His and Her porn on the iPads.

Anyway, nice to know that the BIG radiology companies deliver rads of such immense quality. Yes indeed.

1 comment:

23 Skidoo said...

Did he get a thrill up his leg as well?